An Update from a Month Ago!!!

Here's a post I wrote when we first moved back to Spring:

Blog Post 5.16.13

Looking Back, Catching Our Breath, & Looking Forward

                These past few weeks have been ridiculous. In addition to finishing up one of the scariest semesters I’ve ever had (chamber music recital, Master’s orals examinations, four term papers and a final – all of this over the course of five weeks), we also packed up all our stuff and moved. Also I graduated with a Master’s degree in Music performance from the University of Georgia and we had a lot of family visit us to celebrate and help us move.

                The last semester saw some huge changes for our family. I decided not to pursue a Doctoral degree in music or even a career in music. I’m going to keep playing the tuba and plan to put on a recital every summer because it would be a horrible waste to have put in as much work as I have and then stop playing. Also because I would probably go insane. I’m also looking into starting a small private teaching studio. I’m considering a lot of things for employment over the next year. I’ve started looking into other career options and am planning to go for another round of school at University of Houston after gaining Texas residency status. I have my eye on a career in dentistry because it would allow for an ideal work family balance, we’d be comfortable/secure financially, and because I have an uncle and a grandpa who were/are dentists. They’ve both warned me that it’s not all cake and roses, but I like to think I could handle it. We decided to start a family and have our first child on the way (with an ETA of late September/early October).

                A smaller-scale bit of news that I learned recently and am super pumped about (I don’t get super pumped, so this is kind of an anomaly on my excitement scale) is that I get to go to Philmont with my Dad in mid-June. Philmont is often referred to as “scouter’s paradise” and for good reason. It’s a huge camp where crews go backpacking for a bit over a week in the mountains of New Mexico. I had the good fortune of going to Philmont back in 2006 when I was 16 and now I get to go again as an adult leader. Having done scout camp a few summers ago as an assistant scoutmaster, I can say from experience that the adults get some sweet perks. That is, as far as perks go when you’re roughing it in the backcountry. I think you’re supposed to start training for Philmont at least 6 months in advance. I get 6 weeks. So now I have to recover from the steady stream of sugar and caffeine that got me through the end of the semester. So far, so good.

Some thoughts on Boston

This morning I was writing in a journal I started keeping since I learned I was pregnant. I haven't been very diligent about it but I've been having this nagging guilty feeling every time I've seen my journal sitting on a table in the house and this morning I finally picked it up and started writing while I ate a bowl of cereal.

I felt inclined to write, particularly after hearing about the bombings in Boston. I had feelings I wanted to sort out and I didn't think it would be right to completely ignore such a tragedy in a journal I hope this baby will someday read. I don't want this child to think his/her mother had some falsely optimistic view of this scary world we live in. I want my child to know I am aware of the evils of this world and even though they exist, I did deliberately bring him/her into this world.

I think it's significant that this is the first entry in this journal that I addressed directly to my child. As I was writing, I realized the entry turned out a lot different than what I had originally anticipated. I imagined explaining my confusion and despair over the events that occurred two days ago. I thought I would write about how I cried for an hour after hearing about the attacks and I couldn't completely understand why. I thought I would apologize for how terrifying and evil the world is and how sorry I was that this is the life we, as a society, have created.

What I wrote instead both surprised me and didn't surprise me:

My sweet little baby, sometimes scary things happen in the world. They happen a lot actually and some people might even wonder why we are bringing you into such a scary world. I hope you will be able to see the good in the world as you grow up and that you will never become weary. Even when there are so many bad things happening, they cannot compare to the good things in life. If you took all of the bad things and somehow added them all up into one big gigantic bad thing, it would still not compare to the glorious joy and light of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Did you know that? I hope you will come to know it. There is nothing bigger or more consuming than the Gospel. It is for everyone everywhere and can bring joy and peace throughout all of the world. If you are ever frightened or saddened by the scary things in the world, remember the joy and peace of the Gospel and the love Heavenly Father and your Savior have for you. Remember that because of them, good will always prevail in the end and darkness will be cast out by radiant light.    

When bad things happen, sometimes people ask where is God in all of this? Because God has given us agency to choose right or wrong, He will not stop people from making bad choices but He will help us fix them. God is always there. You can see Him in everyone who is trying to make things right.

You can see Him in the first responders at the scene and medical personnel at the hospitals. You can see Him in the bystanders turned heroes. You can see Him in the family and friends comforting one another. You can see Him in residents offering their homes and food to the stranded. You can see Him in those mourning with those that mourn. God is there with the people affected by the bombings in Boston. He is with us always.

Best Spring Break Ever

Hi Folks! I know it's been a long time since I wrote anything on this blog. You probably know that too, so let's cut to the chase!

(Regarding the title of this post: the thoughtful reader may do well to note that I never had Spring breaks at BYU and Natalie was severely ill during spring break last year. So the only legitimate competition for the title of Best Spring Break Ever occurred way back in high school. Your spring break experiences are automatically disqualified.)

This past week was my spring break and Natalie's & my longtime friend, Missy Bethke came to town (she has family here in Athens). Resplendent shenanigans ensued.

It all began last Friday because my classes were all cancelled. I don't remember what Natalie and I did on Friday. Now I remember. We went to the library and I checked out an entire series of comic books and stayed up really late reading them.

On Saturday, Missy came into town. Natalie and I had to clean our house a lot before she got here. But we slept in instead so I had to clean when Natalie and Missy did stuff. For Dinner we went to the Last Resort Grill, which is a fantastic local restaurant. We also visited a local bookstore and an antique store.

On Sunday, Missy came to church with us and then we went to the State Botanical Gardens of Georgia. There wasn't much blooming or even leafy at the gardens, but it's still a beautiful place and we had fun. It was a beautiful day.

On Monday, we watched Les Miserables at the $2.50 Theater (which was until recently the two-dollar-theater). I don't think you need me to tell you to watch this movie if you haven't yet. I'm going to have to read that book some day. But first I have to get through Atlas Shrugged and a handful an armload of other books I'm already reading/planning to read.

On Tuesday, we went to Treehouse Kid and Craft, an arts and crafts store, so Natalie could sign up for a beginning sewing class she's going to take. It turns out that this store has some of the most amazing children's stuff I've ever seen. They had a two-foot tall monochromatic brontosaurus statue (for shelf decor), a hand-tuned 16-tone silver heirloom rattle, little bow ties that can unroll into superhero capes, awesome art prints, a wooden chalkboard-laptop, and a technicolor inflated rocking/bouncing horse/donkey called Rody (among other things). After visiting Treehouse Kid and craft, Natalie and Missy went to the Georgia Museum of Art on UGA campus while I practiced tuba. After that, we went to the Athens Visitor Center to get information for our future adventures on Wednesday and Thursday.

On Wednesday, we went to Tallulah Gorge State Park. It was a lot of fun. It wasn't a very long hike in terms of mileage, but it was one of the most exhausting hikes I've ever been on in terms of exhaustion units per mile. It was only a five-mile (ish?) hike down the gorge floor along the river to the end of the trail at Bridal Veil Falls and then back up again. Along the way we went up and down 531 stairs, crossed a suspension bridge, crossed a river by jumping from rock to rock (except for when we had to tread water because the river was too high), and climbing across a very slippery boulder that was a cliff face above and went down straight into the river. Missy actually fell in the river at this part and had to swim downstream a little to get to a place where she could climb out of the water. The water was very cold. Luckily, Missy was planning to swim and we had all our electronics in sealed plastic bags. After Missy, fell in, Natalie decided not to do the slippery climbing and waited for me and Missy to hike the rest of the way and back. When we got to the end of the trail, there was a natural waterslide and Missy went for an intentional swim. When we had to climb back across the slippery climbing place, Missy had a much easier time than before and did not fall in. I did not fall in but I had a really hard time climbing across. And I mean a really hard time. I even tore a huge hole in the front of my shirt (and it was my Philmont shirt too!). After that we continued back up the way we came (climbing over boulders, crossing the river, and then up the stairs). It was a lot of stairs and we were all exhausted at the end. Then we got ice cream to refresh ourselves.

RIP Philmont Shirt

Draining the water out of my boots after crossing the river

On Thursday, we went to Atlanta. We visited the place where Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was born. There was also a museum we visited where we learned about the civil rights movement. We visited the Atlanta LDS Temple. Then we went and got dinner at Gladys Knight and Ron Winan's Chicken and Waffles. Pretty much everything I had there was the best of that thing I've ever had. Fried green tomatoes, fried chicken, waffles, mac & cheese, green beans. It was awesome. They played lots of funk and soul and such, so I used my Shazam app and now I have a list of all the songs we heard there. There's a special place in my heart for this kind of music because my mom always played Earth, Wind, and Fire when I was growing up. And because it rocks.

"Martin Luther King, Jr. was born in this house; January 15, 1929"

 

 

After Dinner, we went to the Shakespeare Tavern and saw a fantastic production of Much Ado about Nothing. They took some surprising interpretive liberties, inserting some contemporary references and humor. It's amazing to me how much life actors can give to the texts they're reciting. There was even a hurdy gurdy.

On Friday and Saturday Natalie and I watched the entire season of Firefly for the first time. SO GOOD. We also caught up on sleep and continued recovering from our hike. "You can't take the sky from me-ee..."

On Sunday we had dinner with Missy's family again. It's always fun to visit them. They have a new puppy named Maple. She's beautiful and very enthusiastic, but she has no idea how big she is.

Go Dawgs!

Well that pretty much wraps up my account of Spring Break 2013. We had excellent adventures with excellent company. Aside from the travels I've written about, we had a great time with Missy just relaxing, conversing, and eating good food.

Thoughts this morning

After about six hours of sleeping in increasing increments (1 hour, then 2 hours, and then a glorious full 3 hours), I woke up this morning thinking about my friends. I'm not sure if my thoughts were remnants of a dream I had just left or something my mind wandered to in those brief quiet moments of clarity after waking, but I woke with a deep appreciation for the friendships I've formed throughout the years. I decided I needed to record these feelings before I rolled back over in bed to sleep for a little longer and, as a result, forgot everything.

I suppose you can never be too old to appreciate certain things in your life but I feel it's taken me a long time to recognize the deep love and care I've experienced from so many people I call my friends. I have a strong tendency towards being an introvert and this inward pull sometimes makes me very self-centered. Because I prefer solitude or the quiet company of only a few individuals at a time, I often skip out on the large social gatherings that would introduce me to new people and facilitate new friendships; I find them incredibly draining and often uncomfortable. Some people probably consider me unfriendly and awkward. I've experienced a fair share of loneliness, particularly since moving to Georgia where I have no connections that precede me (except, of course, my marriage). I've slowly made a few friends and I'm so grateful for those thoughtful people who have both given us and responded to invitations.

But the friendships I woke thinking of this morning are friendships I've held throughout the years. In my self-centered isolation of increasing loneliness and depression, I've forgotten and neglected these friends, who I believe would jump to my aid if I asked. I recognize that I am not the greatest friend. I am terrible at keeping in touch and I am the only one to blame for this. I think as I've neglected my dear friends they've stepped back a few steps, ready to greet me if I said hello but keeping their distance to avoid any tension caused by long silences. Maybe this is too optimistic for me to think. Maybe those friends who I think are just a few steps away have actually given up and are walking somewhere else now. Maybe I'm still thinking too much of myself, presumptuously assuming people I may have unintentionally offended still care for me.

I'm not so sure. I have some pretty remarkable friends who, in my various times of need, have always stepped up and said, "I'm here. I've been here the whole time." Despite my own neglect of our friendships, they are there for me. They carry on with their lives as I carry on with mine, but they do not forget me. I am so grateful for them.

I think of my experience last year when I was very sick and spent almost a week in the hospital. I was overwhelmed by the love I felt during that physically miserable time. The windowsill in my tiny hospital room was covered with vases full of beautiful flowers. Nurses enjoyed passing my room because they could smell the flowers. I never once had to eat the hospital food brought to me on a tray because a friend had brought something else for me-- a donut or burrito for breakfast, Chinese takeout for lunch, homemade enchiladas for dinner. I had visitors around the clock. I often had to ask people to step outside when my doctors came by. Even my doctors commented on how much I must be loved. My internist told me that he had never seen a patient's room so decorated with flowers, balloons and stuffed animals or visited so often by so many different people. Even past visiting hours before I'd gone to sleep, friends who worked in the hospital would stop by to check on me. Friends who I thought I may have pushed away with my silence were there by my side.

Today one of my best friends, Missy Bethke, is coming to visit me and Brenden. It's Brenden's spring break week and she had originally made the plans with the intention of keeping me company while Brenden went to a conference in Florida. He decided to forgo the conference and now we'll have plenty of time to spend together. She visited last year too, arriving two days before my sudden and unexpected departure to Texas because of my illness. She spent an afternoon with me doing my dishes and picking up around the house while I lied on the couch, wrapped in blankets. Probably not her idea of an Easter vacation but she insisted despite my protests. Missy has been a great, sweet friend since I met her my first semester at BYU. We are different in many ways but we are also very alike in others and I wonder if we would have discovered our likenesses and friendship if we hadn't been roommates that fateful first semester. I can't even begin to imagine how different my life would be if Missy wasn't a part of it.

I know I have been greatly blessed to have been surrounded by such loving and thoughtful people throughout my life. Heavenly Father has placed every person I know in my life for a reason. My friends and my family make my life meaningful.

You make my life meaningful. I know my Heavenly Father loves me because you have been a blessing in my life. I know this hardly begins to express my gratitude for you but thanks for being my friend.

Happy October!

This was the image for our calendar for this month. Pretty awesome, right? I can't remember if I ever told you about this calendar. Its pictures are the covers from old comic books. Each image is perforated so we can frame them if we so choose. It hangs right in our kitchen. We like it.

We went on a Haunted History Tour this past Saturday out in downtown Watkinsville. It was awesome. Our guide dressed in Victorian era widow's mourning clothing which is pretty creepy stuff. Google it if you don't know what I'm talking about. The funeral museum in Houston has mannequins displaying the attire and I couldn't stay in the same area without getting thoroughly creeped out.

Anyway, since I was little I've been intrigued by the paranormal. It was a terrible relationship-- I read as much as I could on the subjects of ghosts and aliens during the day and had nightmares at night. As I grew older and became less of an impressionable child, I was able to read about these subjects and not get too scared which made going on this tour a possibility for me. I've always wanted to go on a haunted history tour so I was excited to finally have the opportunity to go. Our guide was excellent and knowledgeable. It was obvious she enjoyed divulging the spooky tales of the places we visited. The chill fall weather and almost full moon simply added to the experience. It was a fun night.

This was the only picture I took while actually on the tour and it's not even of one of the places we visited. This is a really quaint picturesque chapel in downtown Watkinsville. On a haunted tour with the green glow it looks kinda spooky.

On Sunday, Brenden and I went out for a walk to look at the changing leaves. The orange, yellow and red leaves seem like they're everywhere when we're driving around town but when we went to the park on Sunday we actually saw significantly more green than we'd been anticipating. Even so, the autumn leaves were there.

One of the best parts of the autumn season-- stomping on crunchy leaves!

A few other things we did this month:

• Watched General Conference. Conference is always so uplifting. I've been listening to some of the talks over and over again since first hearing them at conference. There were so many good ones I can't really list which are my favorites but the ones I keep listening to are Pres. Uchtdorf's Of Regrets and Resolutions, Elder Cook's Can Ye Feel So Now?, Pres. Eyring's Where is the Pavilion? and Elder Bednar's Converted Unto the Lord.
• I finally finished a little decoration project I made for Stef and her roommates in Hawaii.
  
• Brenden made the front page of the local newspaper, the Athens Banner-Herald.
  
• Brenden and I finally ordered and hung up some of our wedding photos. Yippee!
• And between the two of us we attended 6 recitals and 5 concerts this month. I guess you could say we enjoy music. At one of these concerts we heard a steel band arrangement of Everlong by the Foo Fighters-- that was pretty exciting.

We hope your October was fun and spooky! We are very much looking forward to these next two months!