How to Potty Train in 1 Day!

A Foolproof Guide to Potty Training:

1. Tell your child he can no longer wear diapers and he has to use a potty.

2. Take off his diaper.

3. Make him use the potty.

Done! See, that wasn't so hard!

No, but really, that was our experience with potty training James. "Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles!"

We had the gimmicks like Thomas the Train stickers to put on a chart and mini gummy worms he affectionately named "Potty Worms" (which sounds hilariously, and disgustingly, like some kind of a gross bacteria passed around in toddler daycare bathrooms). But those things didn't matter to him. Right after we took off his diaper the morning we first began our adventure in potty training, he figured it out. He had a grand total of two major accidents that first week and those were when he was with Brenden so I don't think it was James' fault. Just kidding, sweetheart.   

This was a huge relief to me as this had been something I'd been putting off for a long, long time. The idea of giving my stubborn, mischievous child full responsibility of when and where he was going to potty terrified me. I could just picture James in my mind, running around with no pants spraying my floors and walls with urine like an overexcited graffiti artist who had no idea how spray paint worked. But he didn't do that! Well, he hasn't done that. We still have plenty of years with him for this nightmare scenario to play itself out. 

No, instead my sweet, bright boy always tells me when he needs to potty. It doesn't matter where we are. James is surprisingly aware and in control of his bodily functions. If he needs to hold it when we are driving home, he will. If we are at a restaurant or church, he'll let us know he needs to go and wait until we get him to a toilet. In the first week of potty training, he'd wake up in the middle of the night to go pee, barely awake enough to sit upright on his potty but he did it! We often tell him he is a "potty pro".

James is fascinated by his poop and pee and gas. The first time he pooped, he looked into the potty and said, "It looks like beans. Are beans poop?" He calls particularly strong streams of urine "pee pee waterfalls." We've labeled gas as "fluffs" in our house to give them a softer sounding name to somehow counteract their not-so-soft smell and of course, he finds them hilarious, because well, he is our child. And gas is hilarious. He'll sometimes look behind him after he "fluffs" to try to see it. 

I wish I could actually give some concrete advice on how to potty train but my kid did it on his own. And I'm honestly not trying to brag! Because my kid isn't perfect. It was a miracle to me. This was something I had been stressing about for a very long time. I thought I'd have to homeschool because my kid wouldn't be potty trained. I thought I'd have to get a job to simply cover the cost of a lifetime of diapers. I thought, well, I thought about a lot. And all of those things I thought about were rooted in the fact that my child had not yet been potty trained. I think Heavenly Father recognized that James can be preeeeeetty crazy sometimes so He gave me a freebie on this parenting task. A tender mercy, if you will. 

My self-potty-training child is my tender mercy from heaven.

Those are my Sunday thoughts for the day.

You're welcome. 

A Season for Everything

Brenden, James and I just got back from a fun trip to Utah this past week. We were able to visit family and friends and show James some of our favorite places. We spent a lot of time in Provo and a few days at our alma mater, Brigham Young University.

While at BYU, we explained to James that was where Brenden and I both went to school, as well as some of his aunts and his uncles and his grandparents. He excitedly declared he wanted to go to school there too when he grew up. We told him that was definitely something he could do!

And then he asked if we could come with him when he goes.

Well, no, we can't.

We tried to explain to him that he'll be old enough to live on his own and that he will make lots of good friends. But it wasn't reassuring enough.

Sometimes we forget he is only two years old.

So we told him yes, maybe we can go to school with you.

Right now we are James' whole world and the concept of being without us for any extended period of time is incomprehensible. At times, that is frustrating because we understand that being parents is only one aspect of who we are (a huge, important aspect) and we want time for ourselves. But sometimes, a lot of the time, including during this exchange between toddler and parents, it is a very sweet thing. He loves us so much he never wants us to be away from him.

I know that won't last. I know that someday he will not want me around. I know that in the future the idea of going away to college, especially without us, will be an exciting thought. I know that someday my home will not be a place where he lives, that when he spends a night here he will be carrying a bag with all of his things because his home exists outside of my walls. I know these things but right now, just like with James, the concepts are incomprehensible to me.

So at bedtime when I am frustrated he won't go to sleep and he says to me in his little voice, "Mommy, I snuggle you," I will wrap my arms around his little body and hold him close. When he tugs at my arm to come play with him, when he asks me if I can please help him, I will try my best to be present, to be there with him in that moment.

Because some day I won't be.

This is my every day.

 There's no way I'd be able to catch on this blog since my last post so instead I'll post several pictures of James. These pictures depict the happier aspects of our "everyday". Smiles, Lego DUPLOS, baths, naps, adventures, goofy faces, park trips, walks, lounging around the house, trucks, sand, digging, and more adventures. The rest of our "everyday" not depicted below include things like eating battles, compromises on truck video viewing, choruses of "I want someone play with me", baskets of toys dumped on the floor and then "bulldozed" around the house by his trucks, and neverending dishes and laundry and all the other responsibilities of living. James' ever-growing vocabulary allows him to say the sweetest things like, "You're my good friend" and "That was a good dinner!" and funny things like, "Does Jesus have a truck?" and "I don't want pancakes. I want CAAAAKE!" He also says unkind things like, "You're yucky!" and "I want to throw her in the garbage can!" He is quite a talker and always wants to be part of the conversation, often jumping in with, "What you talking about?" This is easily my favorite stage of James' life so far. I love watching him learn new things and seeing him develop into a little man with such a huge personality. He is so smart, I sometimes forget he is only two years old and I have to remind myself to be more patient with him. He drives me absolutely insane sometimes and it's all I can do to simply hold it together but I love him with all my heart.

My sweet Baby James.      

Ode to Athens, Georgia

I'm channeling your wooded neighborhoods and historic mansions through some Bon Iver. I listened to Bon Iver almost religiously while living in Athens so whenever I hear Justin Vernon's melancholy vocals, all I need to do is close my eyes and I can see the sunlight filtering through the blinds in my bedroom, the tree in front of our old townhome casting leafy shadows. I recall the musty smell of an old home whose windows were painted shut and never opened in the almost two full years we lived there.

Athens, you were both kind and mean to me. Kind in your generous array of activities and delicious restaurants. Kind in your historical Southern charm. Kind in your friendly people. Mean in your life lessons. Mean in the harshness with which you thrust me into reality. Mean in your loneliness and isolation.

I hated you when we were together but now that we've had some distance- hindsight is 20/20. I see you clearly now.

As a newly married, recently graduated young woman, I was ready for the next big adventure. I was excited for a new town, new faces, a new place to discover.

I wasn't ready for the rejection, isolation, and plain confusion about my life's direction.

But, honestly, I've gotten over that now. I can see you clearly and I think as the years continue to pass my vision will become sharper and sharper regarding this period in my life.

You were the first place I truly created a home with my husband. We learned to rely on each other here. We were literally hundreds of miles away from any of our relatives. We hated being away from family but there was a closeness born in that isolation and I'm grateful for developing that closeness early in our marriage.

I was lonely with you, Athens. You forced me out from behind friends, family, school assignments, and a general curtain of everything that I understood to be the norm and bore me naked before myself. When your jobs repeatedly rejected me, my self-esteem dropped. When I had a hard time making friends, I questioned my worth. When Brenden was away for hours every day and I was alone with myself, I realized I didn't like who I was. Alone and stripped of everything I thought made up who I was, I was forced to confront myself with all layers peeled away-- this soft, tender thing I didn't know what to do with.

Athens, you helped me remember that I am a creative being. I don't mean creative in the generic artistic sense of creativity; but I mean to actual create things, to build, to make, to produce. To be happy, I must create. When I was alone, I would write and draw and paint and sew. Hobbies I had forgotten, I discovered anew.

I also spent a lot of time thinking when we were together, Athens. I grew closer to my Savior. I found joy in service. I really came to love the temple when I lived with you. The Atlanta temple will always hold a special place in my heart. Thank you for helping me rediscover myself through my relationship with my Savior and Heavenly Father.

Occasionally, when I'm feeling nostalgic, I'll check out the my_athens hashtag on instagram. Today I was missing your autumns and I looked you up on there. I saw pictures of your fiery trees against blue skies, your historic buildings, your classic campus, your quirky restaurants and stores. I missed you even more.

Oh, Athens. You were named after the city that was home to the academy of Plato and Aristotle. You were destined to be a place of learning. Thank you for your lessons. You continue to teach me as I reflect on my time with you.

Athens, I love you.

Halloween Mix 2014

I finally completed my 2014 Halloween Mix just in time for Halloween tomorrow! I only put it on Spotify this time.

The standout Really Weird Song this time around is hands down a song (covered) by The Carpenters called "Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft." I just can't believe the carpenters recorded this. The point of the song is that we all have telepathic abilities and that if we all think about the words of this song at the same time (I guess?), our combined telepathic message will reach the aliens in space.

Forget Satellites. Just listen to The Carpenters.

Putting this mix together got me thinking about the different levels of metaphor that are in play whenever the supernatural is used in fiction and in lyrics of songs. Maneater is a very simple metaphor, the song Monsters by Lucius is simply about self-defeating thought processes compared to monsters under the bed, and one of the songs in here is actually about environmental concerns.

I've been reading Dracula by Bram Stoker for my Halloween Book this year and there's some really really interesting stuff in there about the nature of evil and how the very worst evils are twisted versions of things that are actually holy. 

So yeah, use some critical thinking this Halloween because there's a lot more to all of this weird, often obnoxious supernatural stuff than you might think. Until you think more, I mean.

So anyways, ENJOY!

Halloween Mix 2014 on Spotify