Christmas Break

A little summary of our break:

And our 2011 Holiday Newsletter:

(click the images to make them larger)

A Year of Marriage

Brenden and I have been married for a year! We celebrated our first anniversary yesterday.

And let's just be honest, I thought the day was going to suck.
Reasons:

• We would be driving all day long from Athens, Georgia to Galveston, Texas.
• We would be in a car driving all day long from Athens, Georgia to Galveston, Texas.
• We would be driving in a car for fourteen hours all day long from Athens, Georgia to Galveston, Texas.
• We would be driving in a car all day long after having driven in a car all day long the previous day when we drove from Washington, D.C. to Athens, Georgia.

Enough reasons?

Oh wait, I forgot one more! We were leaving at 4am. To drive all day long. From Athens, Georgia to Galveston, Texas

But I was wonderfully wrong (shhh, don't tell Brenden. He still admits I'm always right!) in thinking that the day would be a miserable day of cramped, tiring, boring traveling. There were a few things I had forgotten:

• I actually happen to love road trips. I blame my family for fostering such a love in me. There is something about the changing scenery, the thrill of each state's welcome sign, stopping to get gas or food and stretching out my legs in a place I haven't been before and breathing the new air. Also, how many days in a year can you feel alright about sitting around all day long? Not many- so I try to enjoy the time I have to sit and think and read and listen to music without feeling an ounce of guilt for not cleaning my house or cooking a meal or being otherwise productive.
• My husband is hilarious. He is literally the funniest person I know. He is very observant and clever so his jokes are often observations of something odd or ridiculous that people have just accepted as normal. Or he'll make a joke about flatulence. Also, recently, he noted that if you scramble the letters in the word "opposite" you can make it say "poopsite." He makes me laugh all the time especially during lengthy car rides.
• We had great books to read and great music to listen to. We've taken many road trips together in this single year we've been married and for a good 4,000 of those miles we didn't have the option of great music to listen to. Many moving trucks do not have CD players. BUT! Our trusty little Honda Civic does have one! The speakers in the car aren't so great (something actually rattles in the front passenger side door when the music is loud) but there is great music nonetheless. We've gotten better about taking turns playing our CDs; it used to be an almost all-or-nothing deal where we'd only play Brenden's CDs or we'd only play my CDs in the car. We've become much better at sharing the CD player. And we both love reading so having great books to read makes road trips more enjoyable.
• We were driving from Athens, Georgia to Galveston, Texas. We were actually making our way to Texas for the first time since the summer. Shouldn't that be enough for a first anniversary celebration?
• Fast. Food. Many people dislike fast food. Brenden and I are not in that category. We really like fast food. We try to avoid fast food since it is expensive and not exceptionally healthy. But we afford ourselves this convenience and little joy when we take road trips. Yes, we considered making sandwiches and packing them in the cooler but then we thought of McDonald's breakfast (the only meal we like at McDonald's) and Whataburger sandwiches and we told the bread aisle at the local grocery store, "Sorry, not today. I'll see you when I get back from Texas."
• This point is similar to a previous point listed. We would be in Texas in less than 24 hours with family. Eating food. Playing games. Laughing. Enjoying one another's company. Seeing old friends. Teasing siblings and cousins. Giving little gifts that couldn't wait until Christmas.

Though Brenden and I didn't get to go to the temple yesterday like I'd wanted since we'd been driving all day and our anniversary dinner was with my entire family and not a little romantic dinner like many people probably have, it was a great day. We took a trip back to where we started, spent time with some of the people who have been there for us from the beginning, finally got to have more than a single bite of our wedding cake, and now we can look forward to wonderful Christmas and New Year celebrations with our families.

The year has been difficult but it has certainly been wonderful. We've had many blessings and much love and kindness sent our way. We still love each other and somehow we continue to love each other more each day. Yes, that's sappy but it's true. And good things come from sap, like maple syrup and fossilized mosquitoes from which you can replicate dinosaur DNA (see IHOP and Jurassic Park). We have much to look forward to this next year!

"So don't stop believing" and "let's get this party started!" -Brenden (see Modern Family)

AWOL

Hello Dear Friends,

It's been awhile since we last spoke. These past few weeks have been busy. I mean, they have been overflowing with things to do, things to have done, and thinking- lots and lots of thinking. Things have since been done or neglected and the thinking continues. But I'll provide a little update and a lot of thoughts.

Last week, Brenden and I were lucky enough to spend our Thanksgiving holiday in Utah with friends and the McQuay/Binns family. We got to see several of our friends from school throughout the week and spent Thanksgiving with family. We got to meet a few babies. We ate delicious food, played fun games, went to cool places, and laughed a lot. And I took no pictures. But it was great. Trust me.

Brenden and I both got haircuts recently. Brenden made his first trip to a real barber with a swirly blue, red and white pole outside and everything! His beard was trimmed a teeny bit to make it less "wild caveman" and more "somewhat dignified crazy musician." I cut off over a foot of hair. I considered just trimming it but then I realized I could donate it if I cut off 10 inches or more. So now it's all gone, my hair is super wavy/slightly curly again, and it takes about two seconds to dry. Win.

Brenden turned in his first graduate school term paper the Friday before Thanksgiving which means his diet that week consisted of Mountain Dew and candy and no sleep. While he worked on the paper, I began hand sewing little Christmas ornaments. I have a sewing machine but I don't know how to use it. I should probably learn since I have a feeling my Christmas ornament projects would go by a bit quicker if I used a machine. I may also be inclined to tackle bigger projects if I knew how to use it.

I've been applying for jobs, deciding not to go to graduate school at the moment, and trying to think of creative ways to fund living. Brenden's been practicing for concerts, juries, and military band auditions. We've both been reading a lot and catching up on The Walking Dead. And like I said before, I've been doing a lot of thinking.

I've been thinking a lot about this past year, our first year of marriage. I've thought about the changes we've been through and the struggles we've had. I've thought about the adventures we've been on and the things we still have to look forward to. Brenden and I moved three times this year. First, from Texas to Utah in January after our wedding. We packed up a U-haul with our furniture and braved many icy roads as we drove up to Provo. Second, from Utah back to Texas at the beginning of May after both of our college graduations from BYU. We packed up a larger U-haul, attached our little Honda Civic to the back and drove back down to the good old Lone Star State, surviving the two-day drive on almost only candy and pizza. (Yes, we eat very well in this family.) The third time we moved it was the end of July. We left Texas for Georgia, ending that brief in between period, and started a new chapter including Brenden's graduate school and many days of uncertainty. It's been an eventful year- a wedding, a difficult last semester of college, well-earned graduations, living with family and working in Texas, moving to a new and completely unfamiliar place, beginning graduate school, finishing the first semester of graduate school, and still to come- a visit to our nation's capital for a military band audition, Christmas in Texas, and our first anniversary.

This fall semester has been very difficult for me personally. It's been difficult for Brenden too as he's had to watch me struggle and not known what to do. Without going into too much personal detail, I have had a very hard time finding a decent job and it's led to many feelings of self-doubt and frustration. Additionally, I've decided graduate school is not right for me right now, which has been challenging to accept since it's always been part of my "plan." It's just been a very hard semester with difficulties that blur the features of our future.

Everyone has different circumstances and different struggles at different times. I've been greatly humbled this semester and I'm learning more each day about myself, my capabilities, my husband, my marriage relationship, and my relationships with my Savior and Heavenly Father. I've become familiar with this new city and though I could really do with making some new friends and just feeling like I fit in somewhere here, I know this is where Brenden and I are supposed to be at this time in our lives. That knowledge makes it a little easier.

Brenden and I got to drive out to Atlanta today to go to the temple. We did sealings and it was strange to think it's been almost a year since we got married. While at the temple today, I looked down and saw my un-manicured hands with fingernails I've chewed away with my stupid nervous habit but I also saw my husband's hand holding mine tightly. I looked up into his face and saw him looking directly at me with a gentle, contented smile I only see when we're at the temple. And suddenly, I knew it-- we were okay. Things are okay for us.

I know things are hard right now. And they will be hard tomorrow and next month. And things will probably always be hard some way or another but it's going to be okay. In fact, it is okay. And while I might not be jumping up and down right now because I think my life is just so fantastic (because it isn't-- it's hard), I can hope and dream and work and smile and laugh because my life is good. It's hard but it's good.

And I guess that's our update. We're here. We're alive. Life is hard but it's good.

We're doing well.

Sincerely,
Natalie

Finding Pants

Brenden just left to drive the missionaries to our church building for something. I didn't really catch what he was saying because I was in the shower getting ready to go shopping. As soon as Brenden gets back home we're heading out to the mall to go shopping. For clothing. For me.

I hate shopping for clothes for myself. Despise it. I hate clothing and fashion and malls and new Fall catalogues and the way brands market their clothing lines for winter. No one can possibly be that happy in that much snow. I don't care how cute that matching hat and scarf set is. That smile is FAKE!

Right, so anyway, shopping. I suspect a lot of women would be excited to have their husbands take them shopping. I don't actually know. I definitely appreciate Brenden for wanting to take me shopping. My goodness, he knows how unpleasant I am when looking for clothes. Why would he willingly put himself through that?

It's not that I hate all shopping. It's just that I don't want to buy myself another pair of pants when I already have eight pairs (is that a lot or too little?) Sure, they don't fit me as well as they should (too big or too small- I don't know why! They fit when I bought them.) And, yes, it's true I often complain when getting ready in the morning because of this fact. (It was actually because of this complaining that Brenden demanded that we go and buy me a new pair of jeans today.) But pants are expensive! Clothing is expensive! And I'm too short so all the pants in the store are too long for me. ALL OF THEM. And I hate having to get my pants hemmed because I don't sew which usually means that my pants will stay too long and I will wear them anyway and then they will get all torn up where my shoes step on them. And shirts? Shirts are just annoying. There are so many different designs! Button up, v-neck, crew neck, scoop neck, long sleeve, three-quarter sleeve, cap sleeve, tank top, regular t-shirt, sheer, silk, cotton. I generally stick to t-shirts because they're pretty simple and I would get them for free for going to special events. (Too bad I can't wear my old softball t-shirt to church!)

Like I said, I don't hate all shopping. I love shopping for kitchen gadgets. I like shopping for furniture. I like buying books and art supplies. And I enjoy shopping for others. I even enjoy shopping for clothing for others. I just can't stand having to pick out clothes for myself.

Can I show you something that would be embarrassing if I actually cared?
This is a picture of some of the items in my closet:

This is hardly the entire contents of my closet but I wanted to share these items because it gives you a little insight to my shopping habits. I hate shopping for myself so much that when I go shopping, if I find one thing I like or doesn't look too bad on me, I basically buy it in bulk so I won't have to go shopping again for a long time.

Here I have 7 of the same polos from American Eagle, 5 of the same long-sleeved t-shirts from PacSun, 4 of the same blouses from Macy's, 3 of the same (only 2 pictured) skirts from Macy's, also not pictured: 3 pairs of the same jeans, 2 pairs of the same corduroys, 2 pairs of the same flats, and 5 pairs of the same flip flops. There are a few things these items had in common when I was shopping: 1) They fit me. 2) They came in different colors. 3) They were on sale for super cheap. And those are my basic requirements for buying clothes in bulk.

(The rest of this post was added after my shopping trip with Brenden.)

Because Brenden and I had a Macy's gift card and very little time to shop, our shopping trip was limited to one department store. Generally, when I go shopping for myself, it is because I need a particular item of clothing. I went into Macy's looking for a pair of jeans that fit well and weren't at risk of having holes suddenly torn in embarrassing places (I have two pairs of blue jeans, one of which I've had since seventh grade. It was my best Gap buy ever; unfortunately, the pants are now very worn and thin and at risk of having holes suddenly torn in embarrassing places.) Very much to my relief, there were a ton of jeans ON SALE and I began grabbing pairs off the racks and shelves and handing them to Brenden. After I had about seven pairs to try on, I headed to the dreaded dressing room and began trying them on.

Here is one thing I hate about women's clothing: how much the sizes in different brands vary. I tried on a pair of pants that were size 5 and they were too small, then I tried on a 7 from the same brand and they were still too small. If I tried on a size 9 in this same brand, I would have to hem the pants at the knee, thereby ruining the boot cut, so they'd be short enough for me to wear. Needless to say, I gave up at the 7. But then I tried on a size 3 S (s for short) in another brand and they fit. And I didn't need to hem them. And I shook my fist at the size 7 on its hanger in my dressing room and said, "I liked you better! You were $10 cheaper but you failed me!" And I went to the counter, paid for the jeans, and left confused about what size I actually wear because, apparently, I'm anywhere between a 3 and a 9.

It doesn't matter too much, though, because I just bought a new pair of jeans which means I won't need to go jeans shopping for another ten years.

I want to build something!

I have been spending too much time on pinterest lately (again) which just further irritates this itch I have (that just won't go away) to create something big and awesome and marvelous. This itch hasn't gone away with craft projects or furniture painting projects. And it has become a little bit annoying. I lie awake at night thinking up projects I can do to fill my days, to beautify my home, to give to friends and family. And then I lie awake at night wishing Brenden and I owned a house with a garage with a workshop where I could build things.

Yes.

I want to build things. With nails and screws and hinges and knobs and pulls and wood and metal and all those other things I don't even know exist.

Ever since I was little, I have loved trips to Home Depot and Lowe's. I loved seeing the lumber, the hardware, and the power tools. I imagined the things I would create if I had unlimited resources and actual skills. At first, I wanted to build a dollhouse and then I wanted to build a playhouse for the backyard and then a treehouse like that one in Home Alone. And now I want to build a bed, an armoire, bookshelves, a real nightstand with drawers and everything! When I was younger, I would see my dad take sheets of plywood and two-by-fours (along with those metal things that held it all together- nails, screws, etc.) and create things in our garage- cool things like bunk beds and dining table chairs. I regret I hadn't spent more time watching and learning from him when I had the opportunity. I was too occupied with musical theater and dance and softball and school and friends to actually spend time watching my dad build stuff. And girls had no place around a circular saw anyway, right?

What was I thinking?

Maybe I thought the power tools were too loud. Maybe I was too scared I'd lose a finger or end up with a screw in my toe. Maybe I was JUST STUPID.

For Christmas this year sign me up for a circular saw, a sander, a nailer and stapler (don't worry, I already bought myself a drill), and a few gift cards to Lowe's so I can buy some materials. And if you're feeling particularly generous, a new house with a garage with space for a workshop.

It's alright, I know you're probably thinking it.

Yes, I'm crazy. Puh-leeze, I already knew this.