Our 2016 Holiday Letter

Happy New Year! We hope you had a wonderful holiday season spent with those you love! Obviously, we didn't get our yearly holiday card and letter out in time but we still wanted to share an update of what we were up to in 2016.

James turned three years old this year! He spent about half of the year dressed up as a construction worker until Christmas day when he got a fire chief jacket and helmet and made a career change. James' favorite things include climbing on his daddy, building with DUPLOS, and anything Paw Patrol or construction truck related. Brenden introduced him to some children's comics this year and they spend time every night before bed reading those together. James is officially potty trained, a task I was terrified of tackling but actually went very smoothly. We've entered the "threenager" stage and James is stubborn as ever! He is a very mischievous boy but also one of the sweetest little guys ever. He makes us laugh all the time and sometimes it's hard to remember what life was like before he was a part of it. We are so excited to see him continue to grow and learn, especially as he fills his new role as "big brother" this next year. 

2016 started off a little slow for Brenden since he had finished all of his prerequisites for nursing school and we were just waiting to hear where he got in. He spent the first half of the year doing various jobs- working at his father's company in Houston, Galveston College, and the Port of Galveston. In last year's letter we mentioned Brenden was in the process of applying to nursing schools. He got into his top choice which is where he is now- the University of Texas Medical Branch  (UTMB) in Galveston, Texas. We didn't need to move which is a huge blessing since we are surrounded by so much family here. Brenden was selected for the Honors Program and is designated as a McGovern Scholar. This special program provides full-tuition and fees support. We are so grateful for this opportunity we've been given at UTMB. Brenden finished his first semester in December and will be done with his degree by the end of this year. 

I spent the first half of this year nannying a sweet girl right around James' age. (Little did I know that would give me some preparation for what will soon be my future!) Then in May, I fulfilled a bucket list item and spent two and a half weeks in Europe! I left Brenden and James at home (which was really, really hard!) and accompanied my aunt on her trip to Europe to visit my cousin who had just finished a semester abroad in Italy. We traveled to Italy, Greece, and France. It was truly a dream come true. Later in the summer, I found out I was pregnant! With TWINS! This was a huge surprise and I was both terrified and excited as soon as I found out. This has been a less-than-smooth pregnancy so I am eagerly anticipating their safe arrival hopefully sometime in late February. 

A few more noteworthy things that happened this year for our family:

- We were able to witness Megan (Brenden's youngest sister) and Aaron Call's wedding in the Houston Temple in June. We got to spend time with lots of family who came to Texas for the event. It was a beautiful occasion and we are grateful to have Aaron in our family.

- We traveled up to Utah with Brenden's mother, Kristen, to help move some of Megan and Aaron's furniture. James was a real trooper and handled the two-day drive like a champ. We loved being able to visit with family and friends and enjoy the Utah scenery. 

- We had a fun visit from our dear friend Missy. We were able to take her around Galveston and also visited San Antonio and Austin with her. James loved getting to play with his Auntie Missy.

- Part of Missy's stay included a big family trip to Schlitterbahn in New Braunfels! My parents rented a beautiful house in the Texas Hill Country so we could all stay together. It was such a fun trip! James still says his favorite place to go is Schlitterbahn. 

- Reuben (my older brother) and his wife Sydney welcomed their first child, sweet Sofia Marie, into their family in August, a day before Brenden's birthday. She is so cute and sweet and we are all so happy she is a part of our family!  

- Brenden and I were released from our callings as Nursery Leaders in our church which made for a very difficult transition for James. We are hoping moving into Primary this year as a Sunbeam will be an exciting change for him. Brenden serves as the Ward Chorister and 11 year-old Scoutmaster. I'm now serving as the first counselor in the Young Women's organization. We love the opportunities we have to serve in our church.

2016 has been full of fun and exciting things for our family and some other not-so-fun nor exciting things. Nevertheless, it has been a wonderful, blessed year for us. We are excited for the changes we have ahead of us this next year and grateful for those unchanging constants in our lives like our loving families and the Gospel of Jesus Christ. 

We love you all and wish you a Happy New Year!

Late Night Thoughts

I've just climbed back into my bed after sneaking into James' bed to steal kisses and snuggles while he slept. Occasionally my hair would brush against his face and he'd stir a little before settling back into a deep sleep. I watched the rise and fall of his little chest in his fire truck pajamas and couldn't help but think of how angelic and peaceful he looked. Finding James looking angelic and peaceful is a rare sight, one that I can only briefly glance throughout the day when he is usually running from place to place, yelling at the top of his lungs in excitement or curiosity at the range of his vocal cords, mischievously planning his next move. So tonight I snuck into his bed and snuggled him and kissed him while he slept.

These past three years with James have flown by. He constantly amazes me with his cleverness and sweetness. He's getting to the point where he doesn't need naps as frequently and that makes me sad for many reasons but especially for missing out on that time together where he asks me to snuggle him and he pushes his warm little body against mine as we both fall asleep. I suppose it's a good thing he is adjusting to a new sleep schedule as we prepare for the arrival of his new brother and sister. I know I soon won't have that private, quiet time with him to snuggle and sleep in the middle of the day and it's better he adjusts to that on his own schedule rather than having it suddenly taken away. It's hard to imagine how different our lives will be in just a few short weeks.

For a little over three years, it's just been Brenden, Natalie, and James. James has only known being the center of our attention for the entirety of his life. I have loved being his mommy and I am grateful every day for this opportunity I have to raise him. And I feel so much guilt for knowingly and willingly turning his world completely upside down. I love him so much and I know as my attention shifts from him to his new siblings, he may not always feel that love in the same way he has become accustomed to. I hope I will know how to share that love with him so he will always know it is there.

 Even though I am hugely pregnant and on a form of modified bed rest, and even though we are currently going through what is James' most difficult stage so far as he learns the art of dissent and stubbornness which can make him sometimes less than lovable, I will do my best to be present and patient and kind and loving. If I cannot do that now, how could I ever expect him to once his world totally changes? These remaining weeks of just Brenden, Natalie, and James will go by in the blink of an eye and soon it will be Brenden, Natalie, James, and, as James has affectionately named them, Bobber Baby and Construction Worker Baby. I know as our family grows in size, it will grow in love as well. I know it but I still feel nervous and guilty about the changes I am forcing on my sweet boy. But who knows, maybe he will take everything in stride and embrace his new role as big brother. One thing is for sure and that is my love for him, my sweet baby James, who made me a mother.

That will never change.

Where do I even start?

How about with making an official announcement on our blog about my pregnancy? I'm pregnant! With twins!

I had posted this cute photo collage on Facebook to announce the McQuay twins coming in 2017.

But I thought I'd share this lovely outtake from that same photoshoot because I think it's hilarious and really shows James' enthusiasm at the thought of becoming a big brother.

I found out I was pregnant on July 11th and a few weeks later discovered I was pregnant with twins. Literally the first words out of my mouth after my doctor told me the news were, "But they don't run in my family." I was in shock. I still am, in fact. But with each ultrasound and doppler and kick and flip, these two little babies are more and more real to me. I still feel wholly unprepared for their arrival but I am excited to meet them. 

With my chronic condition of lupus and the twin pregnancy, I am automatically considered a high-risk pregnancy. That means extra visits and ultrasounds and perinatologists, in addition to my regular OB/GYN. Since it had been over almost two years since my last lupus flare, I figured this pregnancy would go pretty smoothly, especially considering my pregnancy with James was very normal with no complications. 

I have been wrong on the rare occasion and, unfortunately, I was wrong about this being an uncomplicated pregnancy.

In September, I noticed a weird red rash on my face that wouldn't go away. I had also been feeling incredibly tired and worn out which I just attributed to being in my first trimester and chasing a three year old everywhere every day. After one of my routine check ups with my OB/GYN, she sent me straight to the dermatology department to get my face checked out. Turns out I was in the midst of a lupus flare. Awesome.

In October, I was really starting to feel sick. I was exhausted, couldn't eat or drink, and kept getting fevers at night (for about a week). I went in for another routine check up with my OB/GYN and she sent me to Labor and Delivery to get hooked up to an IV so I could get some fluids in me. While there, I was poked and prodded and bruised from a million blood draws. I stayed in the hospital for five days and was released on a Monday evening. Then I got to go back in an ambulance that Wednesday after I passed out at my parents' house and slammed my face on their marble coffee table. I got to stay there for another couple nights and had more tests run. I got to go home after I promised I would do weekly blood draws and keep all of my follow up appointments (with a whole host of doctors- rheumatologist, hematologist, perinatologist, OB/GYN, dermatologist, and probably someone else I'm forgetting). 

Later in October, I was diagnosed with cholestasis. Because, why not? Sure, it usually only shows up in late pregnancy and not halfway through, like it did with me, but I'm special. Cholestasis is a condition where my bile acids build up in my bloodstream and cause intense itching all over my body.  It's terrible. And it never fully goes away until after delivery. No anti-itch creams can help because it's not a surface problem; it's in my blood, flowing throughout my body. Luckily, there are drugs I can take to help this condition. The itching isn't so bad now. Thank you for the drugs.

In November, I began to feel better. It was pretty uneventful. I had my appetite back. Thanksgiving was awesome.

Now we are in December. On Friday, I went in for a growth scan ultrasound. And both of my babies are measuring very small. The perinatologist sent me to Labor & Delivery that evening for further monitoring of the babies. Because of a deceleration in the heart rate of one of the twins during this monitoring, I got to have steroid injections and a stay overnight at the hospital. The steroids are to help with lung development in case of an early delivery. 

That's where we are now. I get to have weekly dopplers and growth scans every three weeks until these crazy babies make their debut. 

Several people have already asked me or Brenden, "So you're done having kids after this pregnancy, right?" I just smile and nod because my brain can't process the thought of going through another pregnancy like this right now. (Also, maybe it's just me but I don't really know how that question is helpful or productive in any way.)

I'll include a couple pictures now to prove I'm still living life.

Brenden's White Coat Ceremony- August 29th

My niece's birth- August 29th

Sofia Gariby

The Awesome Thanksgiving- November 24th 

Texas Renaissance Festival- November 26th

Halloween Mix 1016

Happy Halloween, people!

It’s here! It’s alive! It’s the third biennial Halloween Mix! Below is a brief (sorry that's a lie) rundown of the songs I picked this time around. But first, here's the link to this year's Halloween mix.

1. Night of the Blood Beast
This is a radio advertisement for a 1958 horror movie. Fun fact: they did an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 on this movie. So you know it’s good.

“You’ll know days of nerve-straining suspense! It’s first-degree terror when you see Night of the Blood Beast!”

2. Burn the Witch – Radiohead
This is the first track on Radiohead’s new album, A Moon-Shaped Pool. Making these Halloween mixes has given me an ear for even the vaguest references to paranormal or horrific subjects so it’s always exciting for me when my favorite artists put out a new album with Halloween-ish songs. Also Radiohead is my favorite. Also also this song has an excellent music video.

“If you float you burn.”

3. I Fall to Pieces – Patsy Cline
Body horror at its finest. I actually came across this song while watching an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (S1E12).

“You walk by and I fall to pieces.”

4. Monsters – Electric President
This song has some really great nasty background sound effects: croaking zombie and dripping, slipping, peeling sounds. As with all of these songs, the paranormal aspect is a metaphor, but this metaphor is particularly vivid.

“But now you're a monster and your backbone is soft because you threw it away.”

 Kind of reminds me of some of those disturbingly soft elbows Lovecraft writes about in stories like The Festival (which is actually a Christmas story!).

5. Swamp Thing – Hiatus Kaiyote
This song has a sick base line. And it’s about the Swamp Thing. It’s maybe a touch too stylistically eccentric for some of yous out there, but this song grew on me like a sentient mass of swampland flora. And, let’s be honest, I’m probably going to be the one who listens to this playlist the most anyway. Also! People need to read Alan Moore’s comic run of Swamp Thing because reasons like it’s good and I said so.

"A toothless grinned swamp thing is lurking, come get you."

6. I Thought I Was an Alien – Soko

“We met one day where I thought I was an alien. I told you to get a costume and dance with me like an alien. And you did.” 

I love this song for its off-beat, personal charm. Also aliens. If you listen carefully there are some nice laser, spaceship and alien sounds in the background.

7. Starman – David Bowie
I never listened to David Bowie until he died and I saw that his last album was on Amazon Prime. I gave it a try and discovered that it is 100% my jam. I’ve enjoyed exploring Bowie’s music this whole year. If you’re interested in giving Bowie a shot (which you totally are), I highly recommend “Nothing Has Changed,” a reverse-chronological 3-disc survey of Bowie’s career that he curated himself. This particular song was featured in The Martian, which is an excellent film adaptation of an excellent book.

“There’s a starman waiting in the sky. He’d like to come and meet us but he thinks he’d blow our minds.” 

 Not a bad solution to the Fermi paradox, if I do say so myself.

8. The Mummy – Benji Hughes

“Whatever you do, don’t get the mummy. When the mummy gets drunk he unravels.”

 Some practical advice on selecting musicians for a prom. You’re welcome.

9. You’ve Haunted Me All My Life – Death Cab for Cutie
This track is from Death Cab’s latest album. The title says it all.

10. Wolfman – Dirty Bourbon River Show
This song features both an accordion and a sousaphone and it’s about a werewolf. If those aren’t in your list of the top ten things you look for in a song, then we can’t be friends anymore.

“The hair, it starts to grow. The teeth, they get sharp. And then the eyes glow green. And the howling starts.”

11. Witchcraft – Frank Sinatra
I actually played this song way back in middle school jazz band. Also it’s in Hocus Pocus. So it’s an old favorite.

Hocus Pocus IS Halloween.

12. Total Zombie – Day Wave

“I’m such a total zombie and you’re gold.”

This song is similar in sentient to “She’s so High” by Tal Bachman, except that this one focuses more on how terrible the protagonist is. Maybe less effective for swooning purposes, but at least the lyrics are more realistic for the average listener’s situation.

13. Somebody’s Watching Me – Rockwell
This one was a recommendation from my mom. This song features both Jermaine and Michael Jackson, so maybe next time I’ll just go ahead and use Thriller (or maybe the Bollywood version instead). Anyways, this song references both the Twilight Zone and Psycho. Also, the music video is great. Music videos need more zombie mailmen.

14. Dracula – Bea Miller

“Only one kiss, you’d be k-k-k-k-killing me.”

This song was on the radio! I read Bram Stoker’s Dracula somewhat recently and one of the most interesting things about the Count is how ancient he is. The way that time doesn’t apply to him is terrifying. He’s not “forever young and wild.” He’s a calculating and patient serial killer, bound by strict and very inconvenient rules. Also he’s only young when he’s been feeding. Sure, he can seduce women with his magic powers, but it’s super gross and disturbing if you actually think about it. I feel like this song exemplifies the sexy vampire fad that became super popular recently thanks to the Twilight franchise. This song has a good hook though.

15. Vampire – Mu

“You tried to suck me dry, sink your teeth in and imprison me. But I’d die before you take your bite, cross my heart and hope to keep alight.”

In my opinion, this is a much more appropriate reaction to the advances of a vampire than the last song. Don’t mess with the undead, folks!

16. Wolfman – Teddybears

“Sell your soul to a 45. Lose yourself to the other side.”

17. Ghost Town – The Specials
I love the balance between synthetic and acoustic instruments in this track. Just when the synthesizers get to be a bit too much, you get some excellent brass punches. Fun fact: this 1981 song was a reaction against urban decay in the UK.

18. Stop, I’m Already Dead – Deadboy and The Elephantmen
This song is used in the opening credits for the show iZombie, which is a really funny show (it’s on Netflix).

19. The Changeling – The Doors

“Uh! Uha! Gedu!”

Just out of curiosity I got into The Doors a couple of years ago. This song is only tenuously related to changelings from folk lore, but I really like the Doors, you guys. H.P. Lovecraft wrote an awesome short story about changelings called Pickman’s Model.

20. Graveyard – Feist

“Bring ‘em all back to life!”

I came across this song in a roundabout but very Halloween-appropriate fashion: I bought Feist’s album Metals after hearing another song from the album featured on the soundtrack of a zombie movie, Warm Bodies (2013). Warm Bodies was not bad and its soundtrack was excellent.

21. Scary Monsters (And Super Creeps) – David Bowie

“Scary monsters, super creeps keep me running scared.”

22. Afterlife – Arcade Fire

“Where do we go?!”

This track is from Arcade Fire’s most recent album, Reflektor.

Well that’s it for this year. Thanks for reading through this and maybe also listening to the mix! Feel free to message me with any recommendations for next time. Below are links to the 2012 and 2014 Halloween Mixes:

Halloween Mix 2012
Halloween Mix 2014

How to Potty Train in 1 Day!

A Foolproof Guide to Potty Training:

1. Tell your child he can no longer wear diapers and he has to use a potty.

2. Take off his diaper.

3. Make him use the potty.

Done! See, that wasn't so hard!

No, but really, that was our experience with potty training James. "Wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles!"

We had the gimmicks like Thomas the Train stickers to put on a chart and mini gummy worms he affectionately named "Potty Worms" (which sounds hilariously, and disgustingly, like some kind of a gross bacteria passed around in toddler daycare bathrooms). But those things didn't matter to him. Right after we took off his diaper the morning we first began our adventure in potty training, he figured it out. He had a grand total of two major accidents that first week and those were when he was with Brenden so I don't think it was James' fault. Just kidding, sweetheart.   

This was a huge relief to me as this had been something I'd been putting off for a long, long time. The idea of giving my stubborn, mischievous child full responsibility of when and where he was going to potty terrified me. I could just picture James in my mind, running around with no pants spraying my floors and walls with urine like an overexcited graffiti artist who had no idea how spray paint worked. But he didn't do that! Well, he hasn't done that. We still have plenty of years with him for this nightmare scenario to play itself out. 

No, instead my sweet, bright boy always tells me when he needs to potty. It doesn't matter where we are. James is surprisingly aware and in control of his bodily functions. If he needs to hold it when we are driving home, he will. If we are at a restaurant or church, he'll let us know he needs to go and wait until we get him to a toilet. In the first week of potty training, he'd wake up in the middle of the night to go pee, barely awake enough to sit upright on his potty but he did it! We often tell him he is a "potty pro".

James is fascinated by his poop and pee and gas. The first time he pooped, he looked into the potty and said, "It looks like beans. Are beans poop?" He calls particularly strong streams of urine "pee pee waterfalls." We've labeled gas as "fluffs" in our house to give them a softer sounding name to somehow counteract their not-so-soft smell and of course, he finds them hilarious, because well, he is our child. And gas is hilarious. He'll sometimes look behind him after he "fluffs" to try to see it. 

I wish I could actually give some concrete advice on how to potty train but my kid did it on his own. And I'm honestly not trying to brag! Because my kid isn't perfect. It was a miracle to me. This was something I had been stressing about for a very long time. I thought I'd have to homeschool because my kid wouldn't be potty trained. I thought I'd have to get a job to simply cover the cost of a lifetime of diapers. I thought, well, I thought about a lot. And all of those things I thought about were rooted in the fact that my child had not yet been potty trained. I think Heavenly Father recognized that James can be preeeeeetty crazy sometimes so He gave me a freebie on this parenting task. A tender mercy, if you will. 

My self-potty-training child is my tender mercy from heaven.

Those are my Sunday thoughts for the day.

You're welcome.