This morning I was writing in a journal I started keeping since I learned I was pregnant. I haven't been very diligent about it but I've been having this nagging guilty feeling every time I've seen my journal sitting on a table in the house and this morning I finally picked it up and started writing while I ate a bowl of cereal.
I felt inclined to write, particularly after hearing about the bombings in Boston. I had feelings I wanted to sort out and I didn't think it would be right to completely ignore such a tragedy in a journal I hope this baby will someday read. I don't want this child to think his/her mother had some falsely optimistic view of this scary world we live in. I want my child to know I am aware of the evils of this world and even though they exist, I did deliberately bring him/her into this world.
I think it's significant that this is the first entry in this journal that I addressed directly to my child. As I was writing, I realized the entry turned out a lot different than what I had originally anticipated. I imagined explaining my confusion and despair over the events that occurred two days ago. I thought I would write about how I cried for an hour after hearing about the attacks and I couldn't completely understand why. I thought I would apologize for how terrifying and evil the world is and how sorry I was that this is the life we, as a society, have created.
What I wrote instead both surprised me and didn't surprise me:
My sweet little baby, sometimes scary things happen in the world. They happen a lot actually and some people might even wonder why we are bringing you into such a scary world. I hope you will be able to see the good in the world as you grow up and that you will never become weary. Even when there are so many bad things happening, they cannot compare to the good things in life. If you took all of the bad things and somehow added them all up into one big gigantic bad thing, it would still not compare to the glorious joy and light of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Did you know that? I hope you will come to know it. There is nothing bigger or more consuming than the Gospel. It is for everyone everywhere and can bring joy and peace throughout all of the world. If you are ever frightened or saddened by the scary things in the world, remember the joy and peace of the Gospel and the love Heavenly Father and your Savior have for you. Remember that because of them, good will always prevail in the end and darkness will be cast out by radiant light.
When bad things happen, sometimes people ask where is God in all of this? Because God has given us agency to choose right or wrong, He will not stop people from making bad choices but He will help us fix them. God is always there. You can see Him in everyone who is trying to make things right.
You can see Him in the first responders at the scene and medical personnel at the hospitals. You can see Him in the bystanders turned heroes. You can see Him in the family and friends comforting one another. You can see Him in residents offering their homes and food to the stranded. You can see Him in those mourning with those that mourn. God is there with the people affected by the bombings in Boston. He is with us always.
Love it!
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